Today is a New Day

Some of you may know that I suffer from Clinical Depression (I know, it doesn't seem like it lol but I was diagnosed with it a few years ago). Some of you may also know that I suffer from bits of Seasonal Affective Disorder. I hate the Winter. I become a hermit. It's horrible.

But today. Today I woke up and said to myself; Alex, you've got it all and life is good.

It's true. I count my blessings fairly regularly. I thank God for all that He has given me and my family. And I believe all of those things.

Unfortunately, because of my depression, I don't always SEE this. Does that make sense? I don't know if it does haha. It makes sense to me. Any way ..

It was nice to wake up this morning, smashed against Duckman (yeah lol I wouldn't say cuddling, at this point I was literally smashed against him haha) and that's when I said to myself that life is good.

I'm going to make it a point to wake up every morning with this thought. To look around me and not only know that I have a good life but to actually SEE it. To feel it.

I missed my Duckman while he was gone to Cuba. I hated that he was away. But you know, he hated it just as much. He was so upset that he had to miss Halloween with the kids. But he's home now. Our little family is back together. And I'm ready to move on and be happy.

Racer & The Cold

It's Thursday. Is there anything special with today? No. Not really. It's been six days since Duckman left on his business trip. This has certainly been a ride. I've had cranky children and sick children (it's just a cold, but still ...). I've worked hard on cleaning up my house and still have more to do until it's at what I consider to be clean.

Racer hasn't been in school since Monday. I pulled him from school on Tuesday because I had planned on trying to get into a makeshift clinic to get the kids vaccinated for the H1N1 flu. And no, I don't want comments regarding this. I've made my decision, no one is going to change it. I don't care what anyone else is choosing to do (or not do, whatever the case may be) with their family. This is my choice and like my blog title says; I'm the mom! However, when we arrived to where the clinic was set up it was going to be an extremely long wait. Forget that lol. They have an appointment next Tuesday (because that's how Brantford is doing it; no line ups, you book an appointment and show up for it). So what about Wednesday and today? Why isn't Racer in school? He has a cold. Now normally I would send him to school any way. Really, it's a cold. Deal with it people. However, with the seasonal flu going around and H1N1, I felt it best if he stayed home. However, he'll be going to school tomorrow. Both mornings I've given him some medicin and by 9am, he was fine for the rest of the day lol.

Operation Christmas Child

When I lived with my parents, we would always put together shoe boxes for Operation Christmas Child. Somewhere along the line, I forgot about this. I hate to admit it but I will.

When you participate in OCC, you pack a shoebox with items for children who are less fortunate than yourself. You can read about how it all began and their purpose here.

According to the website this is how you should pack your shoebox;

"Fill your shoe box with a well-balanced variety of items from the following categories:
School Supplies - Items such as pencils, pens, pencil crayons, note pads, and picture books
Toys & Other Gifts - Items such as stuffed animals, small musical instruments, hair clips, toy jewelry, t-shirts, socks, and candy (loose, individually wrapped hard candy in a sealable bag)
Hygiene Items - Please place soap in a sealable bag
Personal Note - Include a personal note and/or a photo in your shoe box (not inside the donation envelope)"

This years National Collection Week is November 16th - 21st. I for one will be dropping off at least two shoeboxes this year.

Tantrums & Single Parenthood

Before I met Duckman, I was a single mother. Racer's biological father has never been in his life. I thought single motherhood was difficult. I actually had it rather easy now that I look back at it. I lived at home with my parents and I had their help with quite a lot of things. I appreciated it then, of course, but looking back at this very moment, I can say that I wasn't truly a single mother.

Duckman is currently in Cuba on business. He left on Halloween morning. It's only been three and a half days. I'm already losing my mind.

I don't know how single parents do it. I really don't. I admire them for being able to hold their family together and do what needs to be done. I don't ever want to do this for longer periods of time.

I think maybe I'm going insane so much because I'm a stay at home mom. Normally, when Duckman comes home, I get at least a little break. I know that if I can't or don't want to go tend to the kids, Duckman can. However, when he's gone on his business trips ... there really isn't anyone here. I don't work outside the home, so I am constantly around my children. I know that must sound bad to some people, but when it's just me here and I don't have any type of break, except for when they go to bed, for (what will be) a whole week ... my nerves become really strained and my, already little, patience shrinks even more.

I love my children. I enjoy spending time with them. Just today, we were visiting my Nana but the three of us sat there and coloured pictures together. It was fun. Racer's colouring is getting better and better. His imagination and use of colours is wonderful.

I've decided my biggest problem is their tantrums. I'm not sure how to curb them. I do not allow either of them to get away with it of course but nothing seems to make them realize that they can't behave that way. Racer's tantrum are a bit more heartbreaking. He will pout, whine, cry and then sit on a chair and continue to silently cry until he gets over it or I send him to his room. He does this every day over anything at all; he can't have a third cookie, he has to eat his dinner, he has to turn the Wii off even though he's been playing for an hour, etc. Diva's tantrums though ... lordy, those are hell. She will throw full blown violent tantrums; kicking, sceaming, biting, hitting, crying, etc. To make it worse, she has done it and continues to do it in public. It's so utterly embaressing. There are times where I just want to cry as well.

I'm not sure why they throw these tantrums. I don't know why they continue to throw them despite knowing they wont get away with it and it wont make them get what they want.

*sighs* I want to just shrug them off and chalk it up to them being 5yrs old and 2.5yrs old. But the fact that they're daily ... I can't just shrug them off.

Gah.